Original post on my Facebook page…….
I have a interesting story about this song. In 2007 God sent me to live far away from my family,(1008 miles to be exact) including my 4 adult children and my grandchildren. I am not the type of person that can be away from their family. But I went. I was gone for 7 months. During the course of this time, I cried alot and I was MAD at God. I did not understand why I was sent away! The main reason we left was financial and it was NOT fixed by leaving as we thought it would be.
While away I learned so many lessons, but I did not open myself up to the lessons nor did I even understand them until one day about 4 months into our relocation I realized that about 4 out of 5 days when I was driving into work, no matter what time it was ( I worked odd hours) I would hear this song. At first I just liked it, then I started really listening to the words…ALL I could think was…GOD are you talking to me? He was and He let me know in no uncertain terms that HE was.
All of a sudden not only did I start understanding WHY I was sent away but I started understanding that HE was going to take me home when the time was right. Like it or not it was necessary for me to stay in this valley for awhile longer. HE wanted to make sure I learned my lessons and learned them well. At first I really thought they had to do with finances…that could not be further from the truth.
God showed me how I was letting PEOPLE run my life rather than HIM. Whether it was my family or people from church or friends. HE showed me that one way or the other, for better or worse, and usually it was worse, I cared more about what others thought than HIM. I was not putting HIM first and if I would HE would Bless my life AND those around me. At first I thought this was a lesson about being too possessive of my family and children…or about wanting and never having good friends, then HE said to me…”SEE!!! There ya go, you think this is about THEM” YOU DO NOT GET IT!” HE shoved this in my face day after day and finally I started to get it. I do not think I totally understood until I was back in Indy, but I was fully on my way and definitely on the right track. While away I made the commitment to HIM that HE would come first in my life and I KNEW that did not mean church..I never had a problem going to church. At least it did not mean “GOING ” to church. I knew that I had to commit myself to be OPEN to listening to HIM and following HIS lead. I knew that it would include A LOT of forgiveness on my part, there were a few people, and YES, some at my church, that I needed to forgive. And still I need to let go of some…some have been harder than others.
Anyway, through this song God said to me He had not forgotten me and that I was going to get what I needed I just had to trust in HIM and have FAITH. And I did…once I made the connection I had nothing…I mean this literally, nothing but FAITH and TRUST in HIM to bring me out of this valley and bring me home. Through this I have learned my purpose in life…..sometimes it takes being in a deep dark valley before you can see what your purpose in life is.
Thank you God!
For the following 3 months I made the resolution to make HIM first in my life ( I thought I had been…LOL) I made HIM first above all else and things started happening. I never understood WHY I was not happy at my job. I quit, I trusted that GOD had HIS plans set and that part of that was for me to stay home and get the ball rolling for our return home to Indy. Once I did this things started moving swiftly. Our finances turned around dramatically and I made resolution with God to be a different person when I returned to Indy and not let anyone influence me from what I felt were HIS intentions for me.
We did return home and we now have been home for 16 months. I can very honestly say that after some problems with listening on my part…I am now on the right track and following what God’s intentions are for me! It has not been an easy road at all and the journey is not over yet and I hope it never will be. For the first 8 months I was like a fish out of water, all I knew for sure was that I needed to LISTEN to HIM whatever that meant. It was not easy because I did not feel lead to have as much to do with my home church as I had, which seemed a huge contradiction to putting HIM first in my life. The trials….? I did not listen to Him entirely, I started back to church, at my home church and things seemed off. I thought..OK I will not jump back into Sunday school but I will attend services each Sunday, but things were not right. I then decided to try and throw myself further into it and head up a big event at the church and God made it clear to me that this is not what I was supposed to be doing. I was actually sorta pushed into it by a friend and then dumped by said friend when she informed me that she never attends said event so why would I think she would be there? It is a long story but to make a short one of it, I felt pushed into something that I was lead to believe I would have help with and then I was dumped to do it alone. After a little confrontation my friend helped a little bit but I really just decided to do it without her since she made it clear to me that she never attends.Hmmmm well..HE did let me know that I was not supposed to be doing this so what did I expect? DO NOT feel badly about this turn of events! All was as it should be, in the end! I should have listened but since I did not God used this to teach me a lesson…the same lesson that He was teaching me all along…….I was caring more about others than HIM and HIS purpose for my life…..just like I did before He exiled me to Florida. I was proving that I had not learned a thing! HE took pity on me because I had a sincere heart ( I like to think) and so I made the decision to back myself off from the church and those involved. That was in May 2008. So far it is proving to have put me on the right track, the track that I think God was trying to get me on when he sent me to Florida in April 2007. Praise the Lord I am hard headed! OH..and regarding work? LOL that is the BEST part of my hard headiness! I went back to the very thing that HE told me was my downfall! I went against everything HE told me, I took control, even though I couldn’t make a decision to save my life, which should have told me SOMETHING! I went back to the career that put me in a position to be taken advantage of by everyone, it seems, that I ever met!!! LOL I put myself right back in the very place that had caused me to have bitterness towards others!! Okay, so that all did not work out. GOD made sure that my life had some serious obstacles which made it impossible for me to continue in that career!! HE IS AMAZING! OH..HE might have given me roadblocks but out of it HE gave me 2 beautiful grandchildren! HE loves me
So, I had many lessons to learn. I stayed very open minded and started listening to a lot of Christian, spiritual, and secular self help, self improvement and just feel good DEEP stuff. I even attempted Deepak! I have a library that is worth THOUSANDS! And through it all I kept evolving into a different person. I like to think I am evolving into the person that GOD meant for me to be when I returned from Florida in the first place. I know the road I am on is not easy and I also know it is going to take years to accomplish what HE has in mind for me. One thing I do know is HE makes sure I stay on track and if I get ideas of backsliding into the people or back to the mind thought or whatever, HE slaps me in the face..pretty hard. HE knows I am hard headed, HE knows that I have finally put HIM above all else. HE knows there are obstacles, my opposition comes mostly from people. I take comfort from HIM. He knows I still have people I need to forgive and HE is working on me..hard. HE doesn’t let a week…almost not a day go by without reminding me that they might have done wrong but it is so much worse for me by not forgiving! I think that I will not progress much further unless I can let go of what they did.
The best part is that THEY are so self righteous they have no freaking clue! OKAY- that was a great example of the fact that I have not let it go yet
I make a promise to GOD and anyone reading this today..right here. I FORGIVE everyone that has transgressed against me whether they were aware or not and I will work as hard as I know how to let go and let GOD. And I ask forgiveness from anyone that I have transgressed against!
And so…my JOURNEY continues………